Back2Phase2 - Who's at fault?

This question's been at the top of many of our minds. I see it happening with people blaming the leaders for allowing import of cases. I hear it really loudly when we have viral videos of fellow Singaporeans who refuse to follow the rules, endangering others and themselves. I feel it when Singapore has to issue a statement to debunk the fact that the Singaporean variant of COVID doesn't exist.

It's hard, isn't it?

I think it's pretty much human nature to put the blame on someone else because when we do that, we do not have to take responsibility for what is happening with us right now. We can simply sit back, look at the things around us, and find the culprit who has put us into such a mess.

But when we do that, what is actually happening is that we are relinquishing control over our own lives. Over ourselves. When we do that, we are intentionally putting ourselves 'at effect' and in a very 'helpless' situation, because we cannot do anything about it. It's not our fault, or is it?

In the NLP world, the frame that we can adopt in place of the 'blame other people' frame would be the 'outcome' frame. What's the outcome that we want right now for us? What can we do to achieve that outcome? Perhaps, we just want to stay safe, stay fit, and stay healthy. How can we do that for ourselves? Perhaps we just want to stay sane. How can we make that a reality for ourselves during such times?

Let's move from the BLAME FRAME into the OUTCOME FRAME.

Here's a simple framework that we can use to set small goals for ourselves during this psedu-lockdown: the SPS model. Just like the petrol station, let's use this to keep our engines running during such times.

Let's assume we want to stay sane.

The word 'sane' can be very daunting and we may not know where to start.

S - Make the goal Sensory Specific

How does being sane look like? What would you say to yourself? How would you feel each day when you wake up? What will you be doing?

P - Make the goal Positive

This is important. Instead of saying what you don't want, instead of saying "I don't want to be having sleepless nights thinking about my problems", think about what you WANT instead. 'I want to stay sane' is a good start. 'I want to stay healthy' is another good example.

S - Initiated by Self

Finally, ensure that your goal is to be initiated by yourself. Ensure that it's not about others - ie "I want no one to be flouting the safe-distancing measures." OR "I want 0 unlinked cases tomorrow." It's time for self-care. It's time to love ourselves. Let's start with ME today.

Fancy a chat to get yourself on track? Click the picture below to find out more.

Or you may read more Back2Phase2 Musings here: Which Direction? | What can we do?