It's the same thing over and over again!

Updated: Oct 11, 2020

There are many ways through which one can experience such a feeling. It might be a goal that you've been wanting to reach for a really long time. It might be a relationship you've been looking to improve for a really long time. It might be a skill you've been trying to develop for a really long time. Or perhaps, it's a habit that you've been trying to kick for a really long time. It feels as though you're just like that. It feels as though you cannot move no matter how hard you try.

I feel you. It's something I've thought about real hard before. In December 2017, I looked in the mirror one day and asked myself if that was what I wanted to be. Age was catching up with me and I suddenly realised that I was not as fit as before. In fact, I quickly remembered my 'goal' since I was in my teenage years - to get a lean and muscular physique - and I came nowhere near that. In fact, in 2017, I was far from that. And to be really honest, I was not a tiny bit prepared to say - OK Darryl - it's actually your responsibility and you have not properly taken it up yet.

I could have easily brought up myriad of reasons for myself - perhaps it was just not meant to be; perhaps it was my body type; perhaps I was just too busy with other things in life etc - yet deep down, I knew very well that I really wanted to move out of that cycle. It's a place where I did not want to be, and I did not know specific steps to break out of it. It seemed easy to look at myself and accept who I was. And that was precisely what I did not want to do.

I was stuck. I was stuck in a pattern - a strategy - a program - that I kept on running in my brain, and the comfort that I felt while running the strategy gave me the motivation to keep on doing what I was doing. It's not just about physical fitness. The programs that I was running spilled over to other areas in life too. And it got really bad. Fortunately, before it became too late, I got to a point of realisation: I finally felt unsatisfied with the state I was in. That dissatisfaction was unpleasant but it was perfect. It was my awareness that I had to move. And that got me thinking about how I could move.

The first step is always difficult. And to push oneself out of a pattern would require quite a lot of motivation. It requires us to make 'disrupting and abandoning' the pattern so enticing that we are willing to take the leap. I recall doing cliff diving before and I once stood at the edge of a cliff for three whole minutes because of that fear to take the leap. Nevertheless, once I stepped off, gravity took the lead and I was on my way to the cool and refreshing waters below.

What can the motivation be? What can we do to make ourselves want that ideal so much that we would intentionally make ourselves more uncomfortable and intentionally make ourselves jump off the cliff so that we can get moving? Think about your ideal state today and make it so attractive that you'll want to take the leap. Into the cool and refreshing waters. Now.

And here's a more detailed analysis on how your brain works. We'll walk you through the process through which you can get out of your undesirable patterns/cycles in life: find out more now.