What am I grateful for? Day 3

And so I've learnt. Being an NLP coach, or rather, being a human being, the imagination is a really wonderful thing. Never underestimate the power that you have because of your mind's resources. I recall having visualised the attacking of the tumour the day before, and I felt empowered, yet I realised that such a way of seeing things meant that I was intentionally putting myself in the line of danger and that probably explained the various 'side effects' that I suffered the night before. Those in the medical profession would probably know that the side effects that I've experienced after day 2 were probably 'too early to have'. Yes, I asked my doctor yesterday and he was quite surprised at how I felt pain after only 2 doses.

And so I concluded that the pain was caused by my 'self'. Being 'at cause' is my default mode of living and that can be damaging if I believe in the wrong thing. Being 'at cause' implies that you can cause things to happen, and that you are not merely a victim of your circumstances and of the various other things (people, environmental factors etc etc) around you. And because I truly believe in being 'at cause', the attack of the tumour happened and it responded with a kind of pain.

The procedures were the same. I had to enter the room, empty my pockets (so that I could lie comfortably), remove my shirt (so that I could fit my mask on), and I then got into position for the treatment. I had a choice at that moment to create a change. And I'm glad I did. Instead of visualising the shot of radiation as a weapon of sorts, I thought about how that dose could gently melt into the tumour, forming a kind of congruence that my body so desired. It's a soft 'melting in' instead of a harsh 'jab'. And that 'melting in' created a kind of peace that my body was willing to have. It is a kind of restoration that my body yearned to have, and it is still yearning to have.

And guess what, I slept really well last night.

The doctor mentioned that after a few more doses, the side effects might began. And that's for another day. Another time. Perhaps it wouldn't even happen. I'm just glad that the power of our imagination can create tangible change, and it's really empowering to be 'at cause' in a situation like this. One more dose for the week before the long weekend of rest!

And yes - that's a recurring theme on my mind: Darryl, you need to rest. :)