I think that's the most unsettling feeling. Finding yourself in a place where you know - deep down - you are not meant to be. That line above is of course from T.S Eliot's 'Four Quartets', though I doubt you would want to look it up. It's long. Damn long.
And reading it might not add anything to your life.
As an educator supposedly developing and inspiring the next generation, I sometimes feel the pressure to model - to live out a so-called perfect life that is "above reproach" - so that this life of mine can serve as a kind of model answer to the youngsters in the classroom. With bright-eyed individuals with their heads up and hands raised, (mis)leading them should be out of the picture, am I not right?
Red flag. In this country, the whole idea of an educator (mis)leading youngsters is just unspeakable. We have been given the mandate to lead, care, and inspire. Inspire. Bring on a rags-to-riches story, or model the way. Such a perfect dichotomy here! Or is it really? How then can we be true to ourselves and continue to educate, inspire, and care?
How can we move others from their present states to their desired states if we "are not there" yet?
More generally, how can we move from our present states to our desired states if all we've felt so far is that we have failed? Or that we have fallen short?
It's about making (mis)takes. The (mis)demeanours, the (mis)haps, the (mis)givings, the (mis)steps should not be hidden. And at times, when we focus too much on how we should stop 'failure', we forget that these 'failures' are part of who we are now, waiting to be utilised to make up who we can be. In fact, why don't we just screw "failures"? In the NLP world, we believe: There is no failure - only feedback. The (mis)ses we have right now can only be feedback for our moving forward.
Pssss...A teacher used to tell me that if I want to be a leader, I have to be Superman.
I seriously beg to differ.
Just be yourself la - an imperfect, fallible creature in need of connection and support. If you're finding it hard to get over a mis(take) or would just like to chat with an equally fallible, imperfect dude, do get in touch!